


Sonic the hedgehog: the truest origin story

by Nonbendo



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23111566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonbendo/pseuds/Nonbendo
Summary: This is the most truest and factual origin story of sonic the hodgehog, except it's a fanfic and i don't own sonic so i can't actualy say that.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everyone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyone/gifts).



Sonic the Hodgeheg: The truest Origion story.

Sonic the Hedgogog really like running around a lot and was running around a lot currently, and really he didn't do much else. Until one day Dr. Robotnik came and kidpanned his bext friend shadow the hedgehog. Shadow the hadgehog was chained up in robotniks lab, and now robotnik was showing sonic shadows predicament form afar with a big sky television. There was elec tricity going through the chains tazing shadow the hodgeheg. Shadow the hedgehog scremmed a lot because the electricity was painful because it's electricity.

"Oh no, we have to shave shadow!" Declared sonic, "I'LL SHAVE YOUR BUTT SHADOW!"

"Shadow hurt lots"

Shadow was in immense pain and agony, the pain was very painful. It hurt a lot because it was electricity and it hurt. Shadow scremaed in pain. A mollified tails came, and mwahahahaed.

"Mwahaha shadow," said tails, stepping out of the shadows "Now that you are being zapped a lot, I shall take my rightful place as Sonic's best friend." and then tails turned up the electricity so it would zap shadow more. Shadow couldn't die because his thing was being really good at being alive and stuff, but he still could be hurt relaly bad like the electricity was doing. And then robotnik came, but he didn't catch tails messing with his machine which was bad for shadow but good for tials. Robotnik turned up the electricity even more, making it hurt shadow even more. Shadow scarmed against the robobchains and robotnik saw how high the electric was and was conufsed for a second and then shouted.

"TAILS IS IN HERE AND TRUNED UP THE ELECTRIC. GUARDS, SNIFF OUT TAILS!" Robotnik said, so some rotobic dogs shoed up and started sniffiting. Then one went behind a big science machine and bit tails who was behind the big science machine and brought tails ot doctor robotnik.

"So, you thought you could snake into here to hijack my evil science to get sonic to like you better huh?" questioned robotnik, "Well, I guess you didn't take into acount my immense genius because im' a genius."

And then robotnik chained tails up in elvectric chains too. Amd tails electric hurt. But not as much as shadow because being evil makes you an electric being sometimes and it was doinsg it to tails. And sonic rode a missile to robotniks robotic robot lab, which explod and sonic came and treed to save shadow, but the electric went into sonic instead. But a funny thing happened. The electric super charged sonics speed alowing him to run a lot faster beicause the speed force. And sonic span into a spinball and span into ronotbik killing him instantly. And then shadow was free, he grabbed robitnik's head and ribbed it from his body, so robitnik died. And then robotnik came in and saw his brother robitnik and ronotbik had been kled and screamed in angry fury, and pulled out a robot gun and shot sonic, but sonic was faster than a speeding robot pullet and dogged it. Then robotnik's skyship exploded but sonic tails and shadows woke up on the gorund just fine.

"Tails, we nedd to talk." said sonic, "I saw what you did on the sky tv."

"Oh," tials looked down sadly.

"I guess since shadow showed up I havent' spent much itme with you. But that doens't make torturing him okaye."

"Yeah," replied tialls guiltily.

"Apologize to shadow." said sonic.

"Sorry shadow," said tails.

"It's okay tials, I forgive you. I would probably torute someone who stole my best friedn too." they hugged. And form that day forth, they was all three bestest best friends. The end.


	2. Enter Donic the 🦔

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donic the hedgehog gits reel madd!

By poplar review demand a 2 chapter,

See because a reviewer offered kind words of wanting to stop my misery, and another thought it was butiful, thouhg they mispelled it.

Donic the hedgehog was hungry, so he ate a cheeseburger because he wasn't sonic but sonic's cheeseburger loving cousin. Donic was different from sonic, he was slower but he was invincable and stornger. Also he liked chili cheeseburgers instead of chili dogs which he ated, so he and snoic didn't really get along. Sudenlu a robutt attacked and it was a big stompy robutt that stomped the restaurant and everyone in town like little bugs. Donic the Hedgehog wasn't much of a hero to be honest so he just let it happen even he could have totally piked up the big stompy robutt and through it to the sun, he didn't. His chili cheeseburger was much too tasty. However soon the big stompy robutt tried to stomp him, and it didn't hurt Donic but his chili cheeseburger was squished.

"CHILI CHEESEBURGER! I SHALL AVENGE YOU!" screamed Donic in rage with the force of a thousand enraged screams, and then he punched the buig stompy robutt with the force of a thousand punches in its leg.

"OW!" screamed the robutt in pain because Donic the Hedhegog's punches were hard enough to hurt a robutt and the big stompy robutt's leg broke in haff. The big stompy robutt started stomping around on one foot, but fell over becassue in was top heavy.

"Now, you stomped my burger and the guy what made it, so you ain't getting our leg back until you make me ant other! If you don't know how to fry a chili chessaburger I sugest you learn right quick!"

The big stompy robutt got all scared even thoujgh it didn't have emotinos because Hogdonic the hedge was JUST! THAT! SCARY! And then a meateor struck and it was made of beef, so the big sotmpy had enough meat.

"Convenient as fuck!" Commented Donic in sheer delight and happy happy joy worthy of Sten and Rimpy.

The big stompy robutt realized that ddeath awaited should he not comply and emediatlie got to wok on making Donic the Hedgehog a chilly cheaseborger! he fried It up nice and slow, insuring that it wouldn't dry out and taste horrifically bad, and after a time it was time to put the cheese upon it cheesily. The cheese meelted in a wondrous fashion and it came time to add the chili out fo a nearby pot of chili that was not stomped. The big stompy robutt provided Donic the Hedgehofg his chili cheeseburger who began to eat it. Then spat it back into the big stompy robutt's face.

"YOU USED AMERICAN CHEESE! AMERICAN CHEESE IS NOT CHEESE, BUT THE SQUISHIFIED REMAINS OF CHEESE SQUISHED INTO A FEEBLE IMITATION OF CHEESE! WHAT SORT OF MORONICALLY FOOLISH PATHETIC IDIOT USES SUCH HTINGS UPON A HAMBURGER, FOR HAMBURGER'S MADE WITH SUCH ARE NOT CHEESEBRUGERS BUT FEEBLE IMITATIONS THEREOF! YOUR FOOLIHSNESS DEMANDS A REDO! I SHALL NOT EAT THIS PATHETIC IMITATION OF A CHEABSEBERGER! REMAKE IT AND /THIS TIME MAKE IT WITH PEPPERJACK!" Screamed Donic the Hedogeheg with the force of a thousand screams.

and another meateor conveniently fell from the sky, along with a just as convenient meteor of pepperjack cheese. (AN, I couldn't think of a funny way to combine cheese and meteor like meateor because cheeseor doesn't make any sense, and cheeteor sounds like cheater so that's silly. Sorry, lol.)

so the big stompy robutt did the whole thing over again but with peeper jack cheese, and Donic began to eat it, but spat it back in the big stompy robutt's face again!

"YOU COOKED THE BURGER TOO LONG! I LUIKE MY BURGER'S MEDIUM WELL, NOT WELL DONE, YOU BURNED ALL THE FLAVOR OUT OF MY BURGER, CONDEMNING IT TO THE NATURE OF A FRIED SHOE AND INFLICTING THAT NATURE UPON MY POOR DEFENSELESS TASTEBUDS, WHICH DEMAND THAT I DESTROY YOU, BUT NAY, I SHALL OFFER YOU ONCE MROE SHOT AT MAKING A PALATABEL CHILICHEESEBORGER!" Screamed Donic the Hedgohog with the force of a thousand screams. "DO IT AGAIN AND DON'T BURN IT THIS TIME!"

This time there was enough meat left so it wasn't all that convenient when the meateor hit because it started rotting and smelled relaly bad. The big stompy robutt didn't have a nose so he couldn't smell it but Donic the hedgoegirg could and he picked up a nearby restaurant employee and demanded that it be cleaned up. The employees bones were all broken but Donic didn't give a shit and forced the employee to do it anyway, and the employee was scared of Donic so he forced himself to do it in horrific agony the entire time. Donic then punched the employee so hard that he died because Donic the hedgehog was hind of a dickhead to be completely honest.

The big stompy robutt hurried up and kooked the bruger and Donic the Hedgueg started eating it but spat it back out in the big stompy robuutt['s face again.

"THAT'S STRIKE THREE! YOU COOKED IT TOO FAST AND COOKED ALL THE FLAVVOR OUT IT." and then Donic the Hedjehog punched the big stumpy robutt to the son. The big stompy robutt didn't burn because it was metal so the sun turned into a black hole and sent mobuys on a crash coarse with jupiter, and sonic was mad at Donic when he realized what happened so he super sonicced a chaos emeralds to make Donic not invincib and spin ball attacked him into the sun, causing time to rewrite donic from jhistory.

And that is the spectactular story of how Sonic the Hedgehog defeated his evil cousin Donic the Hedgehog that noone will evar know because donic was rewrttien out of history.

The Ass.

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(ROFLLLLLLLLLMAO GEDDIT? CAUSE AN ASS IS AN END! THAT'S WHAT'S KNOWN AS A PUN! ROFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLMMMMMMMAAAAAAAOOOOOOOO MY PUNNING SKILLS ARE 100 AND BRING HILARITY TO ALL BECAUSE I'M HILARIOUS! ROFLMMFAO.)


End file.
